Encouraging Ryan

We had an amazing schizophrenic experience in Mussoorie yesterday. The day began quite pleasantly; we joined the EMI staff at Oaklands for morning devotions, followed by a fantastic morning enjoying the peaceful serenity afforded by our location. We took turns testing out a lovely hammock, spent some time in deep conversation, drank chai, and overall found ourselves pleasantly relaxed and refreshed.

At about 3 PM, Ryan announced that we were going to depart from Oaklands to make a foray into the Mussoorie bazaar. We were all excited to make the trip, so as a merry band of intrepid adventurers we ventured out for the hike into the bazaar.

This is where the day shifted from a quiet, reflective, refreshing morning into what can only be described as a surreal caricature of Indian culture driven and instigated by our mad tour guide, Ryan. In order to best capture the experience, we have decided to present the afternoon in four distinct episodes. We are confident that our words can by no means give an accurate rendering of the experiences we encountered; literary justice simply cannot be served in this case, but our hope is that the reader will be able to in some small way get a glimpse of our surreal Mussoorie bazaar adventures.

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Episode I - Every Paan has a Silver Lining
We had been in the bazaar for a short time. The sights and sounds and smells were exactly what I had expected. Lots of people, lots of shops, lots of strange and exotic things to see and do. It started out simply enough with a stop at Ryan’s local tailor, where several team members were fitted for dress shirts. From there, slow wandering through the streets teeming with people, vehicles, cows, dogs and monkeys led us to a particular spot a couple of miles from where we had started our journey. It was here that Ryan turned to Jared with a gleam in his eye and asked, “have you tried Paan?”

“What’s Paan?” was Jared’s innocent reply. Ryan’s eyes twinkled with what can only be called mischievous excitement. “Oh, we will all have to have some Paan!” With that, he led us to a small, open-air store front with an odd assortment of colorful leaves, fruits, and other mysterious concoctions resting on a small counter top. Without pausing to make sure we were in agreement, Ryan ordered 5 servings of Paan. After the man behind the counter began constructing our order, Ryan turned to us to describe what we were about to encounter.

“I don’t really know what’s in it…it has fruit and stuff like that. You take the leaf, wrap the different things inside it, and then put the whole thing in your mouth and chew it all up!” He said this with a smile, as we watched in confusion with a mixture of horror and curiosity as the man behind the counter took leaves from a bowl of water which Ryan assured us would not be a problem.

Somehow suddenly Bobby found himself holding a fully wrapped Paan leaf, sealed with silver foil which Ryan also insisted would not cause intestinal distress. Without really fully comprehending it, Bobby shoved the whole thing in his mouth and began chewing. Before he could even lend a comment to the experience, I was doing the same thing, followed by Jared, Ryan, and finally Dave. It was as if we were lemmings leaping off of a cliff, happily following the leader all the way to a horrible demise.

The only thing I can say about Paan is that it tastes as if you were eating window cleaner wrapped in a leaf from the jungle. How I managed to get it down is beyond me still. Perhaps the worst part was that the Paan continued to linger for some time following the encounter. Little chunks of God knows what kept surfacing from the nooks and crannies of my teeth, surprising me in unpleasant ways as I struggled to work my way through the bazaar on my way to the next insane encounter. They say Paan is a digestive…I believe it. Windex is also a digestive, I hear. I think I’ll try that next. Apparently there is some interesting (and apparently disturbing) information about Paan on Wikipedia and such. Our internet access is sketchy enough that I have not been able to look it up yet, but I fear that when I do, my stomach may start doing somersaults all over again.
[Simeon Turner]

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Episode II - Human Powered Pandemonium
Not long after our encounter with Paan, Ryan got another gleam in his eye saying almost to himself, “Oh, we are all going to do this!” As we topped a little hill we were greeted with the sight of a ferris wheel. Of course this wasn’t he was talking about right? On the contrary, this is exactly what he was talking about. Ryan proceeded to barter with the operator and again, before we could really comprehend what was happening, Ryan and Dave were in a cart and on their way up. Sim and I soon enough found our way into a car. Note that Jared, as self appointed photographer, remained on terra firma. Convenient.

I hadn’t noticed it earlier but this particular Indian ferris wheel was not equipped with a motor. I’m not sure how I missed it at first, but I did. Several Indian men were slowly rotating the wheel manually – by pushing and pulling on the cars as the passed – and stopping it where appropriate to load on other riders. Once all the people were loaded on, a particularly skilled Indian 20-something climbed up one of the side columns and out onto a series of cross-members, using the axle of the wheel for support. He began walking, stepping onto the angle-iron supports as they came and we began rotating. Soon we had completed a couple revolutions and our driver was basically running. All the while, my mind is busy forgetting several semester’s worth of basic engineering classes like steel design, mechanics of materials, dynamics, fatigue analysis, etc.

Somewhere in the middle of forgetting hard earned knowledge, our driver decided it was time to go the other way. He started slowing us down and eventually started walking backwards on his human sized hamster wheel. Soon we were going blue blazes in reverse. I have several memories of these few moments, the most vivid of which include Sim laughing hysterically the whole time and the less-than-pleasant taste of Paan on more than one occasion. Jared continued to snap photos safely from the ground and we were on our way to the next adventure.
[Bobby Rinehart]

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Episode III - My Horse Speaks Hindi
We continued through the bazaar (an appropriate word for our afternoon experience). The mist rolled in and the scene is best described as a Tim Burton movie where everything seems unreal and almost two dimensional. Ryan’s pace increased and he said, “one more thing we have to do.” Ominous words for our afternoon. As we approached the end of the mall I saw the foreshadowing of our next adventure. Earlier this year I had read about Ryan riding a horse through the bazaar during Diwhali, the Hindu holiday near Christmas. As Ryan walked over to negotiate with men half his size we looked around and realized riding a horse to dinner was inevitable.

All of us were helped onto our horses and led down an alley to a path across the backside of the mountain. The horses responded to the instructions of our guides. My comment, “Ryan, my horse speaks Hindi!” We galloped along for thirty minutes. As we began to reenter the town Dave, Bobby, Simeon, and I looked around to see Ryan nowhere in sight. His horse had to stop for water. There we were, four men sitting on horses, being led by guides who couldn’t reach the saddles, and the only person who could speak to the guides, or the horses, was no where to be found. Ryan appeared a few minutes later out of the mist. Simeon turned to me in disbelief, “This is where Ryan lives – everyday.”
[Jared Mackey]

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Episode IV – Nectar of the Dali Llama
We dismounted on the front door of our dining destination for the night – Friend’s Corner, a local Tibetan restaurant. We were seated up stairs and opened up the menu to the drinks. I immediately saw “Butter Tea” and asked Ryan if it was good. Thoughtfully he said, “It’s actually more of a soup,” not really answering my question. He added, “It is very properly Tibetan though.” Sold. I had to have Butter Tea.

It came out innocent looking enough. Not dissimilar to any other chai. The smell was warm and buttery – reminiscent of hot buttered rum. Time for sip…the taste, oh the taste. So familiar. So easy to describe. Butter. Nothing more nothing less. Just butter.
In order for you to share in this experience, I am providing the recipe below. Straight from Tibet – through India – with love:

1) Unwrap a stick of butter
2) Place butter in tea cup and microwave on high for 2 minutes
3) Add tea bag, if available – based on my experience this step is optional
4) Serve and enjoy.
[Bobby Rinehart]